The Blessing of Obedience and 8-28

This afternoon, Charlie, Daisy, and I walked out the front door to get the mail like we do on most days around 3 pm. Today there was an ambulance and fire truck parked in front of a neighbor on our cul-de-sac's house. We know a few of our neighbors just barely, but these neighbors we have never met. They are an older couple that we wave to when passing, but have never spoken with.

When I saw the ambulance, I wondered briefly what had happened, and then the three of us went back inside. Curious, Charlie and I went into our guest room that is in the front of the house. I put him on the bed where he loves to watch the fan and opened the blinds to see if I could tell what had happened across the street. A few moments later, they wheeled the husband out on a stretcher and put him on the ambulance. He was sitting up and awake. Right behind him came his wife, who got into her car and pulled out of the garage onto the driveway, waiting.

All of a sudden, I felt strongly that I needed to go over and speak to her, pray with her. In that moment, I got so anxious, I could hardly stand it. I thought to myself, they're in a hurry to get to the hospital, as soon as I walk over there, the ambulance will pull out and she doesn't want to talk to me, she wants to get there as soon as possible! And, I don't want her to think that I'm a "rubber-necker" just trying to get some neighborhood gossip or something. The thought ran through my mind to pray for what to do... whether to go or stay.

And I felt the Lord telling me to go. Again, I was anxious and just felt like I didn't want to... I searched for a piece of paper and something to write my phone number on and found them immediately right next to where I was standing. I scribbled down my name and number, slipped on my shoes, picked up Charlie, and out we went into the heat of the day. I was shaking as I walked across the street- I know, its silly how nervous I got, isn't it? But, nervous as I was, for some reason I knew the ambulance wasn't going to drive away yet. I knew that I would get to her and speak with her.

As soon as I walked up the drive way, she got out of her car and came to me, tears in her eyes. I introduced myself and Charlie and she did the same, then told me what had happened. He had been outside while she was taking a nap and he fell in the driveway and had been there for two hours. He had heat stroke. Another neighbor had seen him and came over to let her know and call 911. I told her I wish I would have seen and that I was so sorry. She told me he was going to be okay but that he has Parkinson's and falls a lot. I asked if I could pray for her and she said yes. So we stood there in the driveway and I asked the Lord to comfort them and keep him safe. I gave her the paper with my phone number and told her I stay home now and for her to please call me if she needs anything. I walked back to the house, carrying a blessing of obedience and a burden of prayer.

It was such a small thing, and I'm certainly not sharing this story to toot my own horn... this isn't something I do naturally or easily, which I guess is why I was so nervous. We've lived here for three years and have never even met all of our neighbors! Honestly, it was an eye-opener for me.

It's noteworthy to me that this happened on this day, 8-28, a special day for my family. A day when our thoughts turn to eternity... and we long for the day we will be with Him and with her, reunited. This world is fallen, and while we do have glimpses of His glory in this present time, life is hard and sometimes all we can do is hang onto a Hope for something eternally better through Jesus Christ. May we seek His truth and proclaim His glory obediently on this earth until the day comes that every knee will bow and every tongue confess...

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Flying away...

I hate flying. There's no where I'd rather be less than on a plane in the air... And no, its not the long lines, the security checks, the horrible food... its the white-knuckle grip, animal in a cage, stomach in my throat feeling I get when I even think about flying.

You might think I've been this way all my life, and that I've rarely flown... because otherwise I would understand, its really not so bad and its perfectly safe! Or that maybe I became this way after September 11th. Not true at all... I have flown TONS of times, I mean TONS! I used to live in Germany! Just after September 11th, my parents lived in Kansas and I flew home for Thanksgiving and Christmas! I've sat next to people who were scared before and chuckled to myself as I said to them that turbulence was "just like bumps on a road" and that flying "is safer than driving." I've been on trips to Romania and Kazakhstan for goodness sakes. That's like the other side of the world. We're talking 20+ hour flights here people. So I don't know what it was... something just clicked for me (or un-clicked I guess).

It happened the summer of 2003, right before I graduated from college and got married. I was on a flight from Houston to San Antonio (its only 45 min!!!) and I just felt this weird sensation like the plane was going to tip over and fall out of the sky. It was that thought that I turned over and over and over in my mind until I was convinced that it could actually happen. Ever since then I've flown about once or twice a year, petrified and with tears, a stomachache, and a death grip on whoever is lucky enough to sit next to me.

Now doesn't that sound fun? So I guess what I'm getting to is that I just can't wait (can you sense the sarcasm?) for the flight that Charlie, Paul, and I will be taking Monday to Alabama. I've even gone to the doctor for this and even though I will take medicine on the actual flight, its no magic cure and it still doesn't help for the few weeks beforehand that I get knots in my stomach just thinking about the trip I'm about to take...

This is something that, as a psychologist, I have wondered, why? Why did this happen all of a sudden? Where did this fear come from? I've tried using all of my anxiety techniques I used with the kids I worked with- taking deep breaths, visualizing myself on a plane or even close to a plane and trying to strategically relaxing each part of my body, etc, all to no avail. I've tried praying and praying that the Lord would take this away and that it would leave as suddenly as it came. But there's just something about it that will not let me go.

All of that said, now there's this: The last time I flew I had the most beautiful time of worship of my life. Looking out over tops of the clouds. What a beautiful sight. Whoever saw that before air travel?? No one! But it was there! All that beauty, there purely by and for the Glory of God. I sat looking out the window of the plane, listening to Whole World in His Hands sung by Christy Nockels (which I will be listening to this time too!!!) and crying out of gratitude because after all the anxious waiting and anticipation of that flight for months... I was not afraid.

In a way, I've come to an agreement with this fear: I know that you are there, but you will not control my life. And not only will you not control my life, but you will lead me to the most vulnerable place I can ever be where I will sense the power and majesty of Our Sovreign God in a way that I never have before...and all I can do is surrender to the One who has the whole world in His hands.


"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Laminin

You've got to watch this...

http://www.godtube.com/view_video.php?viewkey=152b5103d741aca61093


"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers and authorities; all things were created by him and for him. He is before all things and in him all things hold together."

Colossians 1:15-17

Sunday

Charlie has been going to church every week now since he was about four weeks old. He's been going to Sunday School with us since about six weeks. For the most part, he has done really really well every week, awake during Sunday School and asleep during church. And when he's awake, I'm feeding him, and then he's just sitting in our laps or in his carseat...today was a different story.

First off, he took a really great nap this morning and, unfortunately we had to wake him up to get him ready for church... that was our first mistake... from then on he was fussy fussy fussy! He fell asleep in the car, but not quite deep enough sleep so he woke up as soon as we got to Sunday School. He started out okay, but immediately fussed, so I fed him. After eating, he spit up all over my shirt and then (loudly) "downloaded" (as Paul would say) in his diaper. So I got up to change him- all the while, SWEATING because it is VERY crowded in our class today and Charlie felt like a little furnace under the cover I was using while nursing him.

We get back from the diaper change, and he's squirming and fussing, and Paul has to leave to get ready for church (he plays guitar for the main service). As soon as he leaves, Charlie starts fussing unconsolably, so I leave class early and go ahead to "big" church too. Once in the sanctuary, I get him out of the carseat and put him in the sling. This is great, he's up looking around, and as soon as we stand up to sing the first song, he's out, asleep. I tuck him in the sling a little more and he is fast asleep...

Well crazy paranoid mommy me, thinks he's a little too deep in the sling and may not be able to breathe fresh air, so I take him out. Here's my second mistake... fuss fuss fuss... right in the middle of the sermon. Oh and did I mention, we took off his cute jeans and socks so he wouldn't get too hot in the sling? So now he's wearing his polo shirt with no pants and no socks (something I thought I would never let my baby do). So, I have to leave the service and go sit in the foyer... again sweating and now covered in spit up.

At this point, I'm thinking, why, why did we even come today? We would have been better off to just stay home... and then I was reminded...

Of the beautiful worship that took place in the service today (while Charlie was asleep in the sling). For some reason, I was completely moved by the music and the Holy Spirit today- in a way that made me lift my hands to Him in praise...

It may have been the fact that my baby was snuggled so close and I remembered all those Sundays feeling him kick in my belly, wondering if this blessing was really real...

It may have been the fact that our dear dear friends that are about to move because the Lord has called them into ministry were sitting right next to me and I am so proud and so sad at the same time...

And then I was also reminded of feeling so self conscious walking out of the service and then being greeted with smiles from other church members and mommies (and daddies) with their babies in the foyer...

We are so blessed, beyond belief, to have this church family. I am so thankful that the Lord continues to meet me at the moment of my weakness and allow me to truly feel His presence even though I left church feeling not so grateful with a pantsless, sockless, crying baby, and spit up down my shirt and I'm still so sleep deprived that I feel like I can't get myself together sometimes... His grace is enough. We live a beautiful life and I am so thankful. Thank you Lord.

Hodge-Podge Post

Okay so I've been a bit of a slacker-blogger lately... and I am going to blame it on the fact that I have a new baby and am still not getting enough sleep! But I wanted to catch all my blog friends up on what's been happening lately so this will be a hodge-podge post of all the blog posts I wanted to do over the last few days...

One month old!
Charlie turned one month on May 9th! I can't even believe how big he's gotten...

• We had him weighed and he's 10.5 pounds already!


• He's already wearing size 1 diapers and has pretty much grown out of all the little newborn outfits and is fitting into most 0-3 month stuff.


• He's also losing his hair in the front. Every day when I look at him it seems like there's a little less hair on his forehead. Poor baby... its still so long and thick in the back, Paul says he's getting a "skullet."


• He has just started tracking people with his eyes- turning his head to look at Paul and following him with his eyes as he walks to the other side of the room! He also looked at his mobile in his crib for the first time today! He actually noticed the little elephants turning above him!


• He's starting to make these precious little "big boy noises" as we call them- little coos and ahhs and goos! Along with all the other newborn grunting that never seems to end-which is the reason that I'm planning for tonight to be his first night in his crib (he's been sleeping in the pack 'n play in our room, but the grunting keeps me awake!)

I can't believe how fast he's growing and as tired as I am, I want to cherish every moment of this newborn time.

Losing my brain!
I've heard that brain cells are lost in pregnancy and childbirth and now I am experiencing first hand that this is the truth. And it is compounded by the lack of sleep in the first few months leading to a complete loss of brain function at this time. The other day I completely forgot sweet Ashley was bringing us dinner and left the house only to have her arrive and have to leave it on our porch! That same day, I forgot a friend was coming over to see Charlie (within 5 minutes after she called to tell me) and put him down for a nap just before she arrived. Also that same day, when leaving the hospital after weighing Charlie, I walked up to the completely wrong car and tried to open it and was appalled by a huge scratch on the side of it that I had never seen! Well I had never seen it because it was not my car. Do the brain cells ever return???

Mother's Day/Baby Dedication
Today is my first Mother's Day and it has been so fantastic. My parents and brother came into town for the weekend and we also dedicated Charlie to the Lord at church today. It was his first time at church and he slept through the whole service! Yes!! I had everything perfectly timed as to when I was feeding him so he would hopefully be content during the dedication and was he ever! Sleeping so peacefully in my arms! We then had lunch with my family and Paul's parents. It was a great day.
In case you don't know... our baby dedication is our way of presenting Charlie to the church and to the Lord. Its a way of saying that we want to raise him to know the Lord and pray that one day he would know salvation through Christ. We prayed for him and the other babies being dedicated as a church and the church prayed for us as parents. It was a really special day!

All ready for church! All I can think is... Hurry up and get him in there while he's happy and before he spits up all over his outfit!

Isaiah 30:21

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying 'this is the way; walk in it.'"

Amazing Testimony

Has anyone been watching the "Mistaken Identity: A Twist of Fate" piece on the Today show this week? Matt Lauer is also doing a Dateline piece on the story tonight if you haven't seen it. Two college-aged girls were in a car accident a few years ago, and one family was told their daughter was dead, while the other family was told their daughter was in critical condition. The first family mourned the loss of the daughter and held her funeral, while the other family sat by their daughter's side in the hospital watching her recover for 5 weeks. After 5 weeks, they started to realize that it was not their daughter, but the other family's daughter.

These families have been on the Today show for the past two mornings and they are all Christians, and have just been giving the most amazing testimony about Jesus and the sovreignty of God. Matt keeps asking them, where is the anger? Where is the anger toward God? Where is the 'why would God do this to us?' attitude? And they just all have the strongest answers that they want to use their story to bring glory to the Lord and that they know bad things happen and that we live in a fallen world, but that one day they will be reunited with the daughter that died and they can grieve with hope!!!

Matt Lauer spent quite a while with these people since he did a Dateline story about them and I'm interested to watch it and see the story more in detail. I don't know what Matt Lauer believes, but these families are witnessing to him and the rest of America on morning television!! Its so great to hear the name of Jesus on television in the morning, and I pray that people are hearing and that God is using their story for His glory!

Watch the Dateline tonight if you can!!!

Maybe I'll watch it... or maybe I'll be having a baby, you never know! ;)

Palm Sunday

I mentioned before that Easter is probably my favorite holiday. Well, today is Palm Sunday. I remember loving this day as a kid because all the kids in the Protestant army chapel we went to got real palm leaves to wave pretty much during the whole service. Now I love it in a different way, for a different reason...its the beginning of the Passion week, Christ entering Jerusalem triumphantly. Everyone cheering. But He knew why He was there and that this was another step in His obedience that would lead to death, a horrible death on a cross. The onlookers cheered and worshipped, but a week later they would be urging that death.

"For He shall grow up before Him as a tender plant, and as a root out of dry ground. He has no form or comeliness; and when we see Him, there is no beauty that we should desire Him. He is despised and rejected by men, a Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised and we did not esteem Him. Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed Him stricken, smitten by God and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray, we have turned, every one, to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him the iniquity of us all."
Isaiah 53:2-6

Thank you, Lord.