Today's pictures are from Thursday, which was Charlie's last day of school. I think he had a great time this month, and I'm glad we tried it when we did, but I'm also glad we decided to end it now. I just never felt settled about it and it wasn't quite working out for us the way we thought it would.
He's only two, so I knew he didn't need to be in school yet. But I was hoping it would be a good time for him to play with some other kids, maybe learn a few things, and mostly to give me a nice break and some time to spend with Norah one on one. But the problem was, we were just too busy! Because not only did he have school on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but I go to a bible study on Mondays, MOPs on Fridays, and church on Sundays and Wednesday nights. Plus I have a gym membership. So my two year old, who I stay home with, was in childcare every single day except Saturday for at least two hours, usually more. Now this would be fine if I had, say, a job or something that I needed to do. But I don't. I am a stay at home mom. But I was not staying home.
For some people, their two year old needs more socializing time, time away from mom, and just a reason to get out of the house. But not this two year old, and not this mom. It just wasn't working out. So now we are back to our old routine. And it just feels right. There will be crazy times when I wonder if I made the right decision... for example, this morning when after the gym I decided to run a few quick errands with both kids and ended up with breast milk all down my shirt, and two crazy-whiny-cranky kids.
But then there are other moments- like when buckling Charlie into his seat, he (for the first time!) completely unprompted said "I love you mommy," and I whispered a prayer of thanks and then a request for energy and patience with these two so that I can enjoy this crazy season of life. Because the next crazy season of everyday busy-ness and making lunches and running off to school will come for us too. Its just not here yet. So for now my goal every day is to embrace this life, even when I am so tired I'm not sure I can keep going, even where there are mishaps, time-outs, boo-boos, spit-up, etc.
I'm embracing the crazy.