Sunday

Charlie has been going to church every week now since he was about four weeks old. He's been going to Sunday School with us since about six weeks. For the most part, he has done really really well every week, awake during Sunday School and asleep during church. And when he's awake, I'm feeding him, and then he's just sitting in our laps or in his carseat...today was a different story.

First off, he took a really great nap this morning and, unfortunately we had to wake him up to get him ready for church... that was our first mistake... from then on he was fussy fussy fussy! He fell asleep in the car, but not quite deep enough sleep so he woke up as soon as we got to Sunday School. He started out okay, but immediately fussed, so I fed him. After eating, he spit up all over my shirt and then (loudly) "downloaded" (as Paul would say) in his diaper. So I got up to change him- all the while, SWEATING because it is VERY crowded in our class today and Charlie felt like a little furnace under the cover I was using while nursing him.

We get back from the diaper change, and he's squirming and fussing, and Paul has to leave to get ready for church (he plays guitar for the main service). As soon as he leaves, Charlie starts fussing unconsolably, so I leave class early and go ahead to "big" church too. Once in the sanctuary, I get him out of the carseat and put him in the sling. This is great, he's up looking around, and as soon as we stand up to sing the first song, he's out, asleep. I tuck him in the sling a little more and he is fast asleep...

Well crazy paranoid mommy me, thinks he's a little too deep in the sling and may not be able to breathe fresh air, so I take him out. Here's my second mistake... fuss fuss fuss... right in the middle of the sermon. Oh and did I mention, we took off his cute jeans and socks so he wouldn't get too hot in the sling? So now he's wearing his polo shirt with no pants and no socks (something I thought I would never let my baby do). So, I have to leave the service and go sit in the foyer... again sweating and now covered in spit up.

At this point, I'm thinking, why, why did we even come today? We would have been better off to just stay home... and then I was reminded...

Of the beautiful worship that took place in the service today (while Charlie was asleep in the sling). For some reason, I was completely moved by the music and the Holy Spirit today- in a way that made me lift my hands to Him in praise...

It may have been the fact that my baby was snuggled so close and I remembered all those Sundays feeling him kick in my belly, wondering if this blessing was really real...

It may have been the fact that our dear dear friends that are about to move because the Lord has called them into ministry were sitting right next to me and I am so proud and so sad at the same time...

And then I was also reminded of feeling so self conscious walking out of the service and then being greeted with smiles from other church members and mommies (and daddies) with their babies in the foyer...

We are so blessed, beyond belief, to have this church family. I am so thankful that the Lord continues to meet me at the moment of my weakness and allow me to truly feel His presence even though I left church feeling not so grateful with a pantsless, sockless, crying baby, and spit up down my shirt and I'm still so sleep deprived that I feel like I can't get myself together sometimes... His grace is enough. We live a beautiful life and I am so thankful. Thank you Lord.